Quotations: Volume 55

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:

(Disclaimer: quotations are often taken out of context and may not accurately reflect the way they were originally intended)



"Ruffiana is a sort of bizarre Mother Courage."
- Movement Professor, after our Commedia scenario changed so that Ruffiana became a hoarder

"By then, you'll have the fruit-boobs."
- Movement Professor, when our Commedia scenario was going to involve Pedrolino using fruit to dress in drag, and then Vittoria was going to take them away

"[Newbie], your car has leather seats. Your car is the Hussy Taurus."
- 1st-Year L.B., who also has a Taurus

"We had a student here many years ago who, when you gave him a note, he used to say, 'Right on.' [...] After he graduated, I hoped that I would never have to hear that phrase again."
- Acting Professoressa

"Don't be passive. Don't play Mister Cool... Remember that's a trap for you. You ARE cool, man."
- Acting Professoressa, to Big Show

"You are Captain Tostes... Testosterone."
- Acting Professoressa, to Iceman on playing Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew

"Don't forget: you're meeting the Gorgon, and no one has ever, ever come out alive."
- Acting Professoressa, to Iceman on playing Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew

"When you're dealing with her, think of yourself as a laser beam. Because a laser beam does not do this... (demonstrates a weak, indirect sort of hand motion.) A laser beam goes, 'Zap, you're dead, you're gone.'"
- Acting Professoressa, to Iceman on playing Angelo in Measure for Measure

"Just trust yourself. When you don't trust yourself, your Doings all get throw into a great big general bucket called 'loud'."
- Acting Professoressa

"Everyone falls in love differently. Would you agree to that? Sometimes you're friends for years, and then it's, 'Ohhhhh... You...' Other times, it hits you like a lightning bolt."
- Acting Professoressa

"If next year you see your friends aren't Landing, just go over and give them a little reminder. Because without Landing, man, you're just stewing in your own juice."
- Acting Professoressa

"If he says you're gonna play jacks, say, 'Fine, I can play jacks. I'm gonna beat your a**.'"
- Acting Professoressa, to Angela on how Elizabeth responds to Richard in Richard III

(after the cast tried to put up the set pieces for Two Noble Kinsmen, which has the most complicated set of all our scenes)
Acting Professoressa: Is this good, [Thrill]?
Thrill: Yeah.
Acting Professoressa: Alright, let's spike the mother...

Acting Professoressa: This coffee is like crap.
Big Show: Greenroom-brand coffee is not doing it for ya today?
Acting Professoressa: It's like dirty water.
Big Show: With caffeine.
Acting Professoressa: There you go.

(after O.D. said not to put something on the blog, a discussion began about his girlfriend)
Angela: Wait, does she read my blog?
O.D.: Probably She's an info-sponge. She should work for the CIA.

"By the time you graduate, I want you to prove that you are the most precise class I have ever had, and the most creative class I have ever had, which you most certainly are."
- Movement Professor

Friday, April 16

This is the first day all week with all three of our normal classes. And it's the 2nd-to-last time (or "penultimate", for the fancy folk out there) that this will happen. Weird.


VOICE
We went over all the things we'll be doing for the Voice showing (which will be on Tuesday, from 10:00am-11:00am in the Allen Studio. The things the 2nd-years will be doing:

- I will be doing the monologue from The Importance of Being Earnest that all the ladies worked on for our British RP dialect unit.
- The whole class will be doing scenes from Play It Again, Sam that we worked on in our New York dialect unit
- Big Show & Wifey will be doing a scene from Juno and the Paycock that we worked on in our Irish dialect unit

It's been awhile since we've done RP, so I'm slightly rusty on the monologue, but Voice Professor thinks I'm going to be just fine. I got 100% on both of my RP exams, so she has faith in me.


MOVEMENT
We started a new scenario for Commedia that is based off of some of the stuff that worked the last time we did Commedia.

It is HARD. There are so many times when other parts of the scene are active instead of mine, so I have to stay frozen. But my type, Vittoria, stands on one leg, or in positions that appear unbalanced. It's REALLY HARD to keep those positions for 5 minutes at a time while Movement Professor works with other people. At one point, I had to be frozen in a semi-upside-down state with my legs in the air, and I got so dizzy that I had to stop and lay down. Oh man. My limbs are going to be hurting tomorrow.


ACTING
We did as much of a run as we could of the scenes, although All-The-Way, Killer, and Wifey were out sick.

General notes:
- pick up cues!!!
- the antidote for list-making = internal Landing
- Organize backstage area with Wifey on Tuesday
- footwear is important. Shoes make a profound difference in getting your subconscious to play along with you.


Richard III notes:
- showing too much on face. Especially at "praying nuns" and "beauteous princely daughter"
- Link 1st 2 lines
- "Life" is apex of the list "comfort, kingdom, kindred, freedom, life!"
- "Be brief, lest that..." -- link
- move head less
- "Well then, who dost thou mean shall be her king" -- link
- "Ay, and for her sake" -- monosyllabic
- work on Stillness
- "What were I best to say?" -- quieter
- "Too deep and dead, too deep and dead, poor infants..." -- don't breathe, keep building
- Don't grind on "Harp on it still shall I till heartstrings break"
- faster cue on "Yet thou didst kill my children"


All's Well That Ends Well notes:
- sit on the line "Mine honor's such a ring."
- "When midnight comes..." - pick up cue
- Go SL instead of SR on "My mother told me..."



HOMEWORK
Acting Professoressa wants Big Show and I to get together over the weekend and rehearse our Richard III scene while doing some sort of ballroom dancing.

I have to brush up my RP dialect, and re-memorize my New York dialect scene. And also print out copies of both, just in case.

I have to try to write down as much as possible of what I remember of Commedia. (Which will end with me getting more things for Ruffiana's stew, and missing Flavio entirely).

I have to buy glitter to stand in for Cayenne pepper.

I have to get props with my classmates on Sunday.

I have to work on the end of my Stuffed Turkey monologue.

I have to solidify all my costumes. For everything.

Thursday, April 15

Morning classes (Voice and Movement) were canceled to give the actors of The Game of Love and Chance a chance to rest after their opening night.

ACTING
From here on out, we will only be working on our scenes for the Showing. The Showing will be next Thursday from 3:30pm-5:30pm in the Cook Theatre. The scenes will be:

- Julius Caesar (D-Train & O.D.)
- Much Ado About Nothing (Big Show & Two-Shots-Up)
- Measure for Measure (Iceman & Newbie; cameo by Angela)
- All's Well That Ends Well #1 (Two-Shots-Up & Wifey)
- Titus Andronicus (Thrill)
- Richard III (Angela & Big Show)
- Two Noble Kinsmen (O.D., Thrill, Newbie, & Two-Shots-Up; cameo by Iceman)
- Taming of the Shrew (Iceman & Newbie; cameos by Big Show & O.D.)
- All's Well That Ends Well #2 (Angela & D-Train)
- Comedy of Errors (All-The-Way & Killer)

All-The-Way & Killer might also each be doing a monologue... but we haven't timed the run yet, so we don't know if we'll be able to fit those in or not.


We spent most class spiking our set in the theatre, and figuring out how we're going to do all the set changes.


Here are the notes I got on Richard III:
- relax body... practice walking on stage by myself and figuring out how to cheat out without looking awkward (apparently right now I just look awkward)
- don't be afraid to play with Richard
- don't show him anything until the end when he seriously frightens her
- be innocent in all questions
- ask real questions, not rhetorical ones
- land lines, especially when ending with words like "brothers", "children", and "death"

Wednesday, April 14

No Acting class today, as the cast of The Game of Love and Chance had a final tech run before their opening night.

VOICE
Another day of vocal production, for the benefit of the actors.


MOVEMENT
Movement Professor wrote a rough sketch out of a whole LONG 11-person Commedia scenario for our class, incorporating all the lazzis we came up with for our characters. We played around with it for awhile, and then eventually, it evolved into something completely different.

We started it over and tried again.

Lots of fun things happened. At one point, there were two Flavios (who is the man my type, Vittoria, fancies) because someone else had disguised himself as Flavio. And the Harlequino took both of their handkerchiefs, and then Vittoria thought that HE was Flavio. It was insane.

At one point, Columbina (Wifey) and I switched places, but then the three men took Ruffiana's love potion and had fallen in love with Columbina, and I revealed the switch to get away from them.

Very fun stuff, this Commedia. I wish we had more time to work on it before our showing.



THE GAME OF LOVE AND CHANCE
Opening night!!!

I am so proud of my classmates. The show was completely hilarious, and they still found truth within it. They're awesome. I was laughing at all the wrong times, and apparently they could tell it was me... Haha. It's a lovely light show amongst the rest of our relatively dark season. If you get a chance, go see it and support them!

Tuesday, April 13

No Acting today, as the cast of The Game of Love and Chance (i.e. All-The-Way, D-Train, Iceman, Killer, O.D., and Two-Shots-Up) is in tech.

VOICE
Now that our Irish dialect exam is over, the rest of the year is smooth sailing in Voice class. Today was a "vocal production day", in which we did a full warm-up, tremored, restructured, and worked on vocal extremes.

MOVEMENT
We spent the entire class period working on the Pavane. SO MUCH PAVANE.

The Pavane, as a reminder, is a Baroque period dance. Our version of the Pavane also includes some steps from the Menuet.

The Pavane isn't particularly difficult. The Pavane is just incredibly precise. And Movement Professor wants everything to be absolutely perfect, so we're often doing small things over again to get them right.

Quotations: Volume 54

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:

(Disclaimer: quotations are often taken out of context and may not accurately reflect the way they were originally intended)


(after a discussion of how Voice Professor is looking for books on Dimidov to give Machinal Director)
Voice Professor: Can you tell me his full name?
All-The-Way: I don't know it. (beat) I think it might be Al...ex...an...dre...
Killer: Don't make stuff up.

"Petruchio tells us at the beginning that he's gonna play a lot of roles. 'You want me to be the Great Santini? And saw a woman in half? I'll do it.'"
- Acting Professoressa

"If you start smiling like a chimpanzee, I'll be all over you like white on rice."
- Acting Professoressa

"I've paid my three dollars; now I expect sex."
- Acting Professoressa, on the mindset of the audience

"Oh... I think she needs a shave..."
- Acting Professoressa, mocking how awkward it looked for Killer to cup All-The-Way's face in his hand during a scene, as though he were examining her

(after discussing two possible choices she could make in a scene)
All-The-Way: I think I'm sort of straddling the two now, and I need to make a decision. Sorry, that sounded dirty.
Acting Professoressa: We didn't take it that way, [All-The-Way], I promise you. Only your dirty mind thought that.

"Next year, if you see people relapsing, just a little reminder. 'Dude, go back to your Doings, man!'"
- Acting Professoressa

"Do your Doings. That should be tattooed on you somewhere. Do your Doings."
- Acting Professoressa

"Baaaaaking a caaaaake can maaaake you laaaaate."
- Voice Professor, who made up a sentence for the "alien" vowel in Irish dialect when Angela was a few minutes late to class because she baked Iceman a birthday cake.

"Ask him. 'Where has my youth gone?' 'Where did I put those potatoes?' 'How do you get to Ringling Boulevard?' It's a real question. Ask him."
- Acting Professoressa, demonstrating how to ask a question instead of making it rhetorical

Acting Professoressa: Okay, now someone asks you a question, [O.D.]. What are your choices?
O.D.: (folds arms) Pout.

"'I WILL love her.' 'I've GOT to do it!' 'My gonads are bursting!' Make each one different."
- Acting Professoressa, on not letting declarations of love turn into a list

Friday, April 9

Happy Birthday, Two-Shots-Up!!!

Acting class was canceled again today.


VOICE

We had our Irish Dialect exam, and I think it went well. I had both Iceman and Killer as partners, so I did the scene twice, but Voice Professor only graded my first time through. I hope I did alright. It sounded like most people did well.


MOVEMENT

Movement Professor says we're now ready to take on the next level of Commedia work. Instead of being focused on the story, we have to focus on digression. It's like when you have a dream that just keeps hopping from one thing to another instead of having a logical plot arc.

We started off by getting into our small Commedia groups, and then a few of us were sent to other groups to upset the balance of the scene, and throw it into digression.

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!

Not long into it, all 11 of us were in one long, insane digression, with several plots evolving all over the room. It was hilarious and awesome.

We have to e-mail Movement Professor a list of our favorite 5 things that happened. Mine are:

- Zanni (Thrill) thought my finger was food and tried to eat it.
- Ruffiana (Newbie) put a wedding veil over my face, so I couldn't see anything and kept almost falling over
- When I saw Flavio (Big Show), I fainted, and then couldn't get back up
- Harlequina (Two-Shots-Up) took a ring that I was trying to give to Flavio. She kept switching directions and showing me the hand it wasn't on so I would think she didn't have it.
- Flavio and I spoke different grammelot "languages", and Ruffiana had to translate for us.


We also have to come up with a lazzo to show the class. Here are some I've tried:
- using a stick like a baton to twirl
- almost falling over one direction, then the other (like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz during "If I Only Had a Heart").
- falling down and being unable to get back up
- pretending to be Ruffiana