Quotations: Volume 55

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:

(Disclaimer: quotations are often taken out of context and may not accurately reflect the way they were originally intended)



"Ruffiana is a sort of bizarre Mother Courage."
- Movement Professor, after our Commedia scenario changed so that Ruffiana became a hoarder

"By then, you'll have the fruit-boobs."
- Movement Professor, when our Commedia scenario was going to involve Pedrolino using fruit to dress in drag, and then Vittoria was going to take them away

"[Newbie], your car has leather seats. Your car is the Hussy Taurus."
- 1st-Year L.B., who also has a Taurus

"We had a student here many years ago who, when you gave him a note, he used to say, 'Right on.' [...] After he graduated, I hoped that I would never have to hear that phrase again."
- Acting Professoressa

"Don't be passive. Don't play Mister Cool... Remember that's a trap for you. You ARE cool, man."
- Acting Professoressa, to Big Show

"You are Captain Tostes... Testosterone."
- Acting Professoressa, to Iceman on playing Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew

"Don't forget: you're meeting the Gorgon, and no one has ever, ever come out alive."
- Acting Professoressa, to Iceman on playing Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew

"When you're dealing with her, think of yourself as a laser beam. Because a laser beam does not do this... (demonstrates a weak, indirect sort of hand motion.) A laser beam goes, 'Zap, you're dead, you're gone.'"
- Acting Professoressa, to Iceman on playing Angelo in Measure for Measure

"Just trust yourself. When you don't trust yourself, your Doings all get throw into a great big general bucket called 'loud'."
- Acting Professoressa

"Everyone falls in love differently. Would you agree to that? Sometimes you're friends for years, and then it's, 'Ohhhhh... You...' Other times, it hits you like a lightning bolt."
- Acting Professoressa

"If next year you see your friends aren't Landing, just go over and give them a little reminder. Because without Landing, man, you're just stewing in your own juice."
- Acting Professoressa

"If he says you're gonna play jacks, say, 'Fine, I can play jacks. I'm gonna beat your a**.'"
- Acting Professoressa, to Angela on how Elizabeth responds to Richard in Richard III

(after the cast tried to put up the set pieces for Two Noble Kinsmen, which has the most complicated set of all our scenes)
Acting Professoressa: Is this good, [Thrill]?
Thrill: Yeah.
Acting Professoressa: Alright, let's spike the mother...

Acting Professoressa: This coffee is like crap.
Big Show: Greenroom-brand coffee is not doing it for ya today?
Acting Professoressa: It's like dirty water.
Big Show: With caffeine.
Acting Professoressa: There you go.

(after O.D. said not to put something on the blog, a discussion began about his girlfriend)
Angela: Wait, does she read my blog?
O.D.: Probably She's an info-sponge. She should work for the CIA.

"By the time you graduate, I want you to prove that you are the most precise class I have ever had, and the most creative class I have ever had, which you most certainly are."
- Movement Professor