Friday, August 29

MOVEMENT
I finally had a conversation with my movement professor about my lower back issues. She says that my issues aren't as bad as I think they are (probably because they've improved significantly over the last few years). She only notices the over-curvature in my spine when I'm doing exercises, not when I'm standing or walking. She says that we're going to work together, and she thinks that we can fix a lot of my issues. I'm thrilled.

We had our test over The Second Circle. She told us as we were taking it that she'd decided to make it pass/fail in order to make us less tense about the first test (which was beyond awesome of her). I think I nailed it all anyway.


VOICE
We started with our test. We basically just had to explain what "destructuring" and "restructuring" are. I thought I'd done fine, until I realized that I'd just written about a paragraph on each, and some of my classmates were grabbing their notebooks so they'd have additional paper. So I might've been a bit too succinct... I'm worried about my grade, but it's only the first test. Once I learn her grading style, I'll adjust for future tests.

We went into tremoring after that. My body didn't respond well to the first two positions that we've been working on (ones where you're on your back with your feet in the air, and the tremors start in your legs). But we tried a "pelvic tremor" which she said works for very few people... and *BAM!* My body was shaking uncontrollably, to the point that I was frightened. It was UNBELIEVABLE, and SO COOL. It really shouldn't surprise me that the normal exercises don't work for me, and that I only respond to the thing that no one else does. I have always been a bit of a freak. I can't figure out why I keep forgetting that.


ACTING
Acting was rough. We did an exercise where we were mentally exploring the concept of entirety, and separating our lives into chapters. For some reason, it made me intrinsically focused. Then I became self-conscious and felt the need to retreat. By the end, I was in a corner, preferring to be comforted by my favorite table (the one I bonded with earlier in the week) than connect with my classmates. It was such an unpleasant and foreign feeling. But clearly, the exercise worked; it taught me something about myself and brought me to a place I hadn't been before.

As class continued, things got tense as we moved into an uncomfortable, argumentative group discussion. And although I'm sure it's completely illogical to think this, I was worried the whole time that I'd somehow caused the whole thing. I felt as though the negativity I introduced into the atmosphere through my reaction to the exercise had infected the space.



I'm glad we have a few days to recover. This is one of a precious few weekends that I will experience in the coming year, and I think the time off is well deserved. It has been an intense and overwhelming week, and I need a little time to mentally adjust to this undertaking. And I think my class needs time to work towards the feeling of being an ensemble again before returning to classes.

~A~