Thursday, October 23

CAPOEIRA WORKSHOP
Today people learned really awesome fake-outs. There were a couple of new kicks, too. And then everyone did some practice fighting.

Except I didn't.

Why? Because my body hates me.

I got pretty dizzy at near the beginning of class, so I sat down for a bit. Then I felt like a pathetic wimp for sitting down, so I tried to get up. But no, I was so dizzy that I literally couldn't. I finally got back up, and started giving it my all. And then the pain came back.

My right side is really messed up. Like, REALLY messed up. And part of me wanted to try to work through it (I know that I have a low pain threshold, so I try to make up for it be consciously increasing my pain tolerance). And at first, I did (which was probably stupid). But it got to the point where I couldn't anymore.

A friend of mine once said there's a difference between "playing while hurt" and "playing while injured" (it was originally applied to sports, but I think it's true in most things that apply to theatre as well). If you're "playing hurt", it takes guts, and it's sort of a brave, selfless thing to do. If you can continue helping the team and doing your best despite the fact that you're in pain, that's great. But "playing injured" is just stupid. You're going to put yourself and your teammates in danger as a result.

I "play while hurt" a lot. Seriously a lot. Due to my low pain threshold, I've been in pain on almost a daily basis since I got to grad school. If the pain is like a 1-3 (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain I've ever felt in my life), I don't even mention it. Once it goes over 3, I often will, but I work through it. I start watching myself and pulling back around a 5.

Today I was stupid. I kept participating even once I got to about a 6, just because I wanted to learn this stuff SO BADLY. As a result, I hit at least an 8 on the pain scale, because I tried to "play while injured".

Our workshop is only 4 days long, and I don't want to miss any of it. And there is nothing more frustrating than sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else do it, and feeling like a failure for not being able to. I sat out for the rest of class.


MOVEMENT
I told my Movement Professor what was going on immediately when I got to her class. At first she had me stretch out and try to let my muscles relax. She let me participate in a Viewpoints exercise for all of about 2 minutes before she pulled me out and ordered me to lie down.

She said something about my femur not being in my hip socket correctly? I'm not certain. All I know is that I cannot release a couple of the muscles in my leg, and I'm in pain. And, as I've been favoring my left leg for weeks, now my left ankle isn't doing well either.

My Movement Professor currently has an Apprentice, who is getting certified in Eginton Alignment. So my professor asked Apprentice J. to help me out. She basically tried to manipulate my muscles and do things that felt like physical therapy to me for a long period of time. It actually did help, but I was ordered to stay on the ground and just watch class.

Watching class is a completely different experience than participating in it. Today was the day that my class (minus me) had a collective breakthrough in Viewpoints exercises, and it was SO COOL to see it.

Over the last couple of weeks we've been working with the "time" viewpoints (Tempo, Duration, Repetition, and Kinesthetic Response). Today, they got to begin working with the "space" viewpoints (Architecture, Spacial Relationship, Topography, Shape, and Gesture -- although we haven't gotten to Gesture yet). It was super neat. They started looking like a unit as opposed to ten individuals, despite the fact that they were often doing completely different things. I was so proud of them, and so very frustrated that I couldn't be a part of it.

After class, my professor recommended a massage therapist to me, and said that it is CRUCIAL that I go to one before classes next week, or I'm going to end up doing a lot more damage to myself. I made an appointment for Saturday morning, which happens to be my 24th birthday. You know, it's funny; most people would probably LOVE to go get a massage on their birthdays. But for me, it's a matter of dread, discomfort, pain, and inconvenience. *sigh*


ACTING
My Acting Professor said that if someone were to come into our class for five or ten minutes on a given day, they might say, "I know that exercise. I know what they're doing." But the truth is, they don't. They don't understand the context that exercise is being taught in, or the exact way that we've been instructed to do it on that day. We're the ones who are in classes day in and day out, so we are the only ones who truly know.

Him saying that made me immediately think of this blog. I could live-blog from class every day, but you STILL wouldn't really understand what we're doing without physically being there on a daily basis. :-/

We did a group activity that involved working from our creative centers and trying to start in a "pause" and then find an impulse "as a group". That is so much easier said than done. For a long, long period of time, we were all just sitting/standing in the space, trying to feel SOMETHING. People started doing things as individuals, but there was no group impulse. And me? I just kept trying to ignore the pain in my leg.

Our professor notified us we missed the first collective impulse, because not everyone recognized that it was occurring. And then we sat there for what seemed like a very long time, several of us becoming frustrated that we weren't coming together on anything. We got to a point where we all started letting our eyes dart around to each other, which I think was when the communion really began.

I don't remember the group impulse taking over. What I do remember was my leg hurting. I put my arm on Big Show's shoulder for balance as I started moving my leg around and trying to manipulate the muscles the way Apprentice J had. Before I knew it, it looked like everyone was either stretching out or helping someone else stretch out. I remember D-Train coming over to me and helping with my leg, and then I started rubbing his back. Eventually, the group ended up in a big train, rubbing each other's shoulders.

Our professor applauded when we had finished. He said that the impulse we followed was identical to the one we had missed. We all just really wanted to stretch out and be massaged (and after Capoeira all week, who could blame us?). It just took us a while to realize that.


ANALYSIS
I love my Analysis Professor today. Why? Because he gave us a desperately craved extension on our papers on The Wild Duck. Which is swell, because I thought I was going to have to pull an all-nighter in order to finish all my homework tonight.

We spent the first hour of class just discussing the issues that we've been having writing the paper. Trying to come up with a cohesive action for a play where the characters don't seem to agree and keep changing their motivations? Not easy.

The end of class was about the images from Joe Turner's Come and Gone that we had been assigned to focus on last class. A lot of really interesting points were raised.

By the end of class, my professor made the statement that August Wilson might be the Shakespeare of the last century. I have a really hard time agreeing with that... but that's just because of my Shakespeare geekdom. And the fact that I don't much care for Joe Turner's Come and Gone. In my mind, there's really no comparison between the two.


HOMEWORK
I'm about to head to a coffee shop with D-Train to try to observe the behavior of a couple for our Movement class. We then have to watch a television show that has a couple in it, and compare and contrast the behavior between the real couple and the fictional one. I had planned to go right after class today, but my car stalled TWICE in the MILE that I had to drive home, so D-Train and I are borrowing a car from the ever-lovely All-The-Way to complete the assignment. Let's hope that there are still some couples out and about at this hour on a Thursday night!