Quotations: Volume 20

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:

"She was excited. She raced and raced through the apartment. And it's a small apartment. That's a lot of repetition." - Voice Professor, on her dog's reaction to her arrival home after a few days out of town

"My fingers feel like they're filled with soda." - Wifey

(Voice Professor had written our self-test on the board, and some of us had misread her writing)
Newbie: Oh. It was hair? I thought it was hall.
Voice Professor: And how would you IPA that?
Newbie: Probably incorrectly.

Movement Professor: (laughs) I love you guys.
O.D.: You have to keep reminding yourself?

"This is the sternum, and these are the middle fingers." - Movement Professor, explaining a stretch

"I would say 'luxuriate in a liquid quality of l.'" - Voice Professor

"I don't cross my final 't's. Get used to it. Luckily, your exams are typed." - Voice Professor, after some of us misread her hand-written self-test

"If you got them both right, then that's good. If you got them both wrong, then that's understandable. If you got one right and one wrong, then, why?" - Voice Professor, on using IPA for the words "rays" and "maze"

(Thrill thought he was going to have to go on in an understudy role in The Winter's Tale later that night)
Voice Professor: (to class) Tonight, go over your...
Thrill: (interrupts)Lines.
Voice Professor: Well, yes. And blocking.

"Don't be afraid. Do you know what your risking? Great acting." - Acting Professor

"Am I fool enough on stage? That's a good question to ask." - Acting Professor

"The actor's instinct is never wrong. The actor's instinct is always one-hundred-percent healthy. And yielding to it fully will always steer you right." - Acting Professor

"Don't take things too literally. You shouldn't record external characterizations because of what you're wearing. But now you're about to show up to class naked." - Acting Professor

"I saw that you were recording in character. I knew it would affect you, but I didn't know how. It was either going to be super awesome or super bad." - Acting Professor, to D-Train after he recorded wearing his glasses

D-Train: You look like you got a tan or something.
Analysis Professor: It's high blood pressure.

"There's a really good joke in there, but I'll avoid it." - Analysis Professor

"Angela, stop writing things down." - Analysis Professor

"This had better not end up in your blog." - Analysis Professor (more than once)

"I can't figure out how to move now." - Big Show, not wanting to mess up his alignment after Movement Professor corrected it

"Two... Five... Eight... Twelve... Release." - Movement Professor, counting how long we should hold a stretch

(Movement Professor had been helping O.D. with something)
Movement Professor: Is anyone else horribly confused?
O.D.: Oh, thanks...
Movement Professor: I didn't mean that [O.D.] was horribly confused!
O.D.: That's okay, Eagle Eye.

(Movement Professor was demonstrating an alignment exercise that some of us were having trouble with)
Two-Shots-Up: (to Movement Professor) It looks so smooth when you do it.
Movement Professor: That might be because I made it up.

"If it makes your face do something funny, then don't do it." - Voice Professor, on how to say "Tuesday" with a liquid U

"I love that people are embarrassed about IPA-ing things wrong. That's a good sign. You're invested in it. It's very good." - Voice Professor

Voice Professor: That schwa does not have one sound. It's the diminished form of all vowels.
Thrill: So it's like a joker, and you can put it anywhere?

Voice Professor: What do we know about "aw"? (the vowel sound in "law")
All-the-Way: I hate it.
Voice Professor: You can hate it. That's fine. It's not going to help you too much, but it's fine.

(After All-the-Way and Iceman did a scene, Acting Professor commented on a missed impulse)
Acting Professor: You wanted to make a hand-rolled cigarette, didn't you.
Iceman: Yeah!... (amazed at Acting Professor's ESP) I don't know about you.
Acting Professor: Then do it.
Iceman: I didn't have any of the stuff... S***, [Acting Professor]!
Acting Professor: I see more than you think.

"Fourth grade is a troubling grade." - Voice Professor

Movement Professor: Then the e-mail body will expand, and... Wait... Did I just say 'e-mail'?
D-Train: We knew what you meant.
Killer: What DID you mean?

(The class was working with exercise balls for alignment work.)
O.D.: I think I need a bigger ball.
Movement Professor: Yes, I think you might need blue. Get down a blue ball. Forgive the joke.

"Don't use too much 'v'. It's getting all dirty-dirty today, isn't it?" - Voice Professor

"Some professors are your good mommies. And some professors are your bad mommies. That's me. I'm your bad mommy." - Analysis Professor, on his teaching style

"When I say 'sole of the foot', I really mean S-O-U-L." - Movement Professor

"Try to explain it. Character is nervous, but I am not? What? Character is crying, but I am fine? What? You cannot explain it. You have to do it." - Acting Professor

"Start storing it. Start storing it so that when it's time for your cannon to shoot, you've got so much powder." - Acting Professor

Analysis Professor: No. You're not sitting in a comfy chair. No comfy chairs in my class.
D-Train: It's not comfy! I swear!
Analysis Professor: If your eyelid starts to droop, so help me God, I'll throw my books at you.

Analysis Professor: 'Subtle hole whose mouth is covered with rude brains.' 'Unhallowed and bloodstained hole.' 'Gaping hollow.' What is Shakespeare talking about here?
All-the-Way: Sex.
Analysis Professor: Not just sex, dear-heart.
All-the-Way: Vaginas.
Analysis Professor: It is the vagina dentata. We gay men are not the only ones who fear vaginas.


"This play, in a sense, is, 'Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. Baby. Don't kill baby. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill." - Thrill, on Titus Andronicus, specifically on the character of Aaron

"[Thrill] I could kiss you for bringing that up." - Analysis Professor

(Discussing the connections between sex and vengeance in Titus Andronicus)
All-the-Way: Is it like lust and bloodlust?
Analysis Professor: Yes. Exactly. Lust and bloodlust are the same in this play.

O.D.: (Agreeing with Analysis Professor) Yeah. Wow. It's like I'm learning... in class.
Analysis Professor: How novel.

"Feeding her children to her, and asking her if she likes it. While dressed as a chef, which I think is wonderful." - Big Show

(On the somewhat superfluous death of the nurse in Titus Andronicus)
D-Train: Well, someone had to die.
Killer: It's been awhile.
D-Train: (Checks imaginary watch) It was time.

(During an exercise in class, someone knocked on the door. Big Show answered the door in character, and then ad libbed this:)
"Some dumb-a** moron got the wrong house." - Big Show

"A lot of it is being your own Sigmund Freud. And saving a hell of a lot on those bills." - Acting Professor, on how you have to get in touch with yourself in your acting so that you won't be blocking the character

D-Train: (before an exercise) I'm not responsible for anything that's about to happen.
Acting Professor: That's... wonderful.
Killer: I like that philosophy.
Acting Professor: It was a beautiful disclaimer.

(after talking about how being impulsive or not in life is sometimes cultural, O.D. and Two-Shots-Up said that they think Jewish culture and Black culture are two that are more free with their impulses.)
O.D.: That's why you don't need to go to conservatory, [Two-Shots-Up]. It's because you're black.
Acting Professor: Then what's your excuse?
O.D.: I need to pray more.