Quotations: Volume 22

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:


"Hard work, [O.D.]. You're eating, sitting down, some pretty girls next to you... Hard work. I wish I had your problems." - Acting Professor

"Do sea lions still exist?" - Movement Professor

(Big Show was the first person to attempt a one-handed cartwheel)
Movement Professor: Sorta scary, but sorta not scary, right?
Big Show: No, it's still pretty scary.

All-The-Way: I read it. I did read it. The whole thing. I'm not gonna say how I felt about it, but I read it.
Analysis Professor: Good, because the people watching your audition don't care how you felt about it. They just care how you communicate it.

"Art is a great objective to pursue. But I don't recommend bringing it up in the auditioning room." - Analysis Professor

"Maybe this is a [Movement Professor] note?" - All-The-Way, giving a note in Acting class while sitting next to Movement Professor

"It's really important to take your partner in before you do anything. Especially if you have the first line." - Movement Professor

"The worst acting is acting in your pause and not on your words." - Analysis Professor

"Just make sure you're really brilliant at typing." - Voice Professor, when asked if it was okay to retype scenes for auditions

"Is this étude over? I don't even know." - Newbie

Acting Professor: Here is the secret: when I said you had total freedom, you don't. Because you have these lines.
Thrill: Well, we knew that.
Acting Professor: Maybe you did, [Thrill], but [Iceman] didn't.
Iceman: Yeah... (to Acting Professor) LIAR!!!

"I thought there was sexual tension at the end of the étude, so I was hoping you weren't cousins." - All-The-Way

"Thank you. Wow... That was classic." - Acting Professor, to Killer and Thrill after an étude where they were both falling asleep

"I was like, 'There's a flip flop with no foot in it... And there's a foot with nothing on it...'" - Thrill, explaining his thought process in an étude

O.D.: I get it. I should have just used [Iceman]'s foot another way. It's fine.
Acting Professor: Leave all the feet alone!

"Don't start tremoring. Don't even tell anybody that you tremor." - Analysis Professor, on what not to do in the audition room

"I don't care how you feel about the story; I care what you're trying to achieve." - Analysis Professor

"I'm Bo Derek!... My name's Bo Decker." - D-Train, enthusiastically announcing the character's name incorrectly in a scene from Bus Stop

"You have about four lines to get the attention of the director. Maybe three. And if you don't get them at the beginning, I guarantee that they're going to tune you out and start thinking about what they're going to eat for lunch." - Analysis Professor

Analysis Professor: Now, what do you do if the director throws you an adjustment?
D-Train: You adjust.
Analysis Professor: Thank you!

"Everybody has these defaults they all fall back on. You've got the smiling disease." - Analysis Professor, to Newbie

"Sometimes you'll get bad directions. [Newbie], could you make it more purple?" - Analysis Professor

"Practice, practice, practice, practice... but you need to practice the right stuff." - Acting Professor

"In this field it's either 'you can' or 'you can't.' It's not 'you know' or 'you don't know.'" - Acting Professor

"No vocal exercises, no matter how important they are, no movement exercises, no matter how important they are, will fix that problem. Only exercising inner-technique will save you." - Acting Professor

"You play with your soul, and your soul needs to be tuned. If you don't tune your soul, nothing good is going to happen." - Acting Professor

"Your job will never be done." - Acting Professor

"You are forming an ensemble in mysterious ways." - Acting Professor

"We should read it in class. This will ensure that you will take it in one gulp, as opposed to some Three Sisters vinaigrette chopped salad." - Acting Professor

"It's not about being a good partner and throwing the ball back. In a funny way, it's about holding the ball. You need to be more selfish." - Analysis Professor, on auditioning with a Reader

"Art is all about associations." - Acting Professor

"Classical plays should always be read as contemporary, and contemporary should be read as classical." - Acting Professor

(Acting Professor sees me get out my pen after saying something)
"This is going on somebody's blog." - Acting Professor

"Chekov never says anything. He hints. He relies on having incredibly sensitive actors who will pick up on them." - Acting Professor

Analysis Professor: It's not really naturalism. It's more than that.
Me: It's supernatural?
Killer: No.
All-The-Way: So it's like 'Naturalism Plus'?
Director A: Fortified with irony.

"You guys are old before your time. Don't do it." - Voice Professor

O.D.: I came up with sentences instead of images, which are like one degree removed from the images.
Me: Inspired by them. Ekphrasis.
O.D.: What?
Me: Ekphrasis. E-K-P-H-R-A-S-I-S.
Acting Professor: Stop swearing!
Two-Shots-Up: Thank you!
O.D.: Is that a word to describe the process I went to?
Me: Yes.
Acting Professor: If I hear words I don't know, I assume they're swear words.

"I think Anton Chekov may have surpassed Jack Bauer at this point." - Killer, after Acting Professor told us some CRAZY stories about things that Chekov did in his life