Quotations: Volume 37

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:

(Disclaimer: quotations are often taken out of context and may not accurately reflect the way they were originally intended)


(in a discussion of how to build vocal energy in lists in Shakespearean texts)
Voice Professor: You would probably never emphasize the word "milk" in a list for example.
D-Train: But sometimes you would stress milk in a list if it were funny in context.
Angela: Like, "I need fuses, and kerosene, and dynamite... and milk!"
Voice Professor: Do you say that?
Angela: I was making an example of a list where milk is funny.
Voice Professor: (completely straight-faced) Oh. And it was.
D-Train: (sarcastically, to Voice Professor) That was convincing.
Voice Professor: I don't always laugh when things are funny. Sometimes I just appreciate the humor on an intellectual level.

"[Killer], instead of making this like a 'brain drain', make it 'fun with sound one-oh-one'.
- Voice Professor

"I don't think you'd say 's***' in front of the Queen."
- Wifey, trying to give a modern comparison to demonstrate that Elizabethans wouldn't have said "thou" in formal situations

"You should ultimately do whatever works for you. You might think, 'Brackets around sentences are crap. I'm not doing that.' And that's fine for you and you don't have to. But while you're in my class, you'll put the d*** brackets there."
- Voice Professor

D-Train: This just seems so amazingly technical to me.
Voice Professor: It IS amazingly technical. It's called 'scoring a text'.

Voice Professor: Oh God, help us. We get to operatives tomorrow. Everyone prepare to remain calm. Did everyone hear that?
Class: Yes!
Voice Professor: Good. Prepare to remain calm. Operatives tend to bring up a lot of ire.

"If this scene doesn't keep moving forward, we might as well just hand out a dramaturgical note and all go home early."
- Head of Program, during a rehearsal for The Mystery Plays

"Guys, we probably... we might be able to pull this off. That wasn't too sucky."
- Head of Program, after a run-through of The Mystery Plays

(after D-Train put on sunglasses that his character wears in The Mystery Plays)
Voice Professor: They make him look like Bono.
Head of Program: He does NOT look like Bono. Trust me.
D-Train: Was that a slam?
Head of Program: No. It was a comment on Bono.

(on the scoring assignment due Friday that had been assigned last week, after Voice Professor cut off all possibility for deadline extension)
Voice Professor: If you feel rushed....
O.D.: Then it's your own damn fault?
Voice Professor: Well, there's that.

Voice Professor: I did it on a whim. (she said "whim" properly with the "hwuh" sound at the beginning)
All-The-Way: On a WHim? (emphasizing the "hwuh")
Voice Professor: Yes. My whimsy is so whimsical it's unbelievable.

(after All-The-Way made a scoring suggestion, she clarified that it was just something she wanted to try out)
All-The-Way: I'm acknowledging I could be wrong.
Voice Professor: It's also 'cause I made a face. I'm wicked sorry about that.

(after Voice Professor said something would only be correct in a French dialect)
D-Train: What about Dublin?
Voice Professor: (horrified, as D-Train has accidentally slipped into Dublin in The Mystery Plays for a character that is not Irish) NO! In fact, when we do Irish, you're sitting out!

(after Acting Professoressa started talking about some books that she had on CD-ROMs that she thought we might find useful and might want to purchase)
O.D.: Is this something that we can reproduce?
Acting Professoressa: Are you asking me to do something illegal, Mister [O.D.]?
O.D.: No. Of course not... (trails off)
Acting Professoressa: Scholar [O.D.]?
O.D.: It's for educational purposes.

(after Acting Professoressa explained that people have mapped out the genealogy of characters in Shakespeare's plays, and have mapped out all the locations based on descriptions)
Iceman: It's kind of amazing that people spend their time doin' this stuff.
Wifey: Oh yeah. How else do people get a doctorate?

(during tech, while listening to sound cues that sound bell-like)
D-Train: This soundtrack really needs to have "Carol of the Bells" in it somewhere.
Angela: Oh, it's already in it. This song? It's "Carol of the Bells" played backward. It makes it creepier and more satanic.
All-The-Way: In a minute, it'll say "Santa Claus is dead."

"It's so beautiful... And tragic."
- D-Train, on a sound cue in The Mystery Plays

"How did we get Colette up here?"
- Head of Program, on one of Wifey's costumes in The Mystery Plays

(during a notes session after the final weekend run of The Mystery Plays), after Head of Program has given a note to D-Train)
Head of Program: Do you think you can do that on Tuesday afternoon?
D-Train: (pause) Yeah.
(laughter from cast and crew)
Head of Program: I swear... You are gonna be so lucky if you make it to graduation.