Quotations: Volume 10

Here are some of the educational, inspirational, and humorous quotations from my classes this week:

"You have to be on your game there. Because rubles? What's that?" - Voice Professor, about understanding Russian when in Russia

"Yes. Lovely. Be luxurious. Who wouldn't want to be?" - Voice Professor, on spine stretches

"No stress, just work. Work and discipline with no stress." - Voice Professor

"If you know a different version, that's fine. Don't make up a version without "t"s, because I won't buy it." - Voice Professor, about variations on "What a to do to die today..."

"Good. As I suspected, it's tragically bad." - Voice Professor, after the group collectively attempted "sts" sounds

Acting Professor: When you woke up, what were you staring at on the ceiling?
D-Train: The sprinkler.
Acting Professor: And what did you want from it? What did you want it to do?
D-Train: I don't know. I wanted it to save me.

"The scene partner is saying, 'I'm better than a sprinkler. A sprinker is only good in one instance: fire. I'M GOOD. I can talk to you. I can cook. I am better.'" - Acting Professor, to D-Train

"Bummer-sauce. Sorry I robbed you." - D-Train, to Two-Shots-Up after the sprinkler exercise

"John Lithgow, and Dianne Weist... And Patrick Wilson, who, thank God, he took his shirt off." - Analysis Professor, about seeing the current Broadway production of All My Sons by Arthur Miller

"What? There's nothing wrong with a little male sex." - Analysis Professor

"So. Chekov. Oh, f*** it. Alright." - Analysis Professor

"I'm sorry, boys and girls, but this is the way people work. If they have the hots for someone, they'll cross all sorts of moralistic boundaries to get to them, and then argue that they've done nothing wrong." - Analysis Professor

All-The-Way: ...Oedi-... Oedipun?
Analysis Professor: Oedipal?
All-The-Way: Right! I can't speak today. My eloquence is all in my [Wild Duck] paper, not in my head.
Analysis Professor: Wasted it all, did you?

"They came in, and measured my neck, and were like, (British accent) 'that's perfect.'" - Iceman, on some people who observed our class

"You did that to me. You, [Wifey]. You made me double-yawn." - Voice Professor

Voice Professor: We don't want it from the middle of the tongue.
Killer: Or the sides.
Voice Professor: Or the less frequent problem of the sides.
Killer: It's freakish.
Voice Professor: No, no. It's rare.
Wifey: Rare like a bloody steak.

"You will lose if you don't drill. Speech is about repetition." - Voice Professor

Acting Professor: So which two children were left behind last time?
Killer: That'd be us. (points to self and O.D.)
Acting Professor: (slowly) No child left behind.

"[O.D.] makes me feel awkward sometimes." - Killer

(discussing an etude)
Acting Professor: But was he a stranger, or was he your friend [O.D.]?
Killer: Oh, I don't think it was [O.D.].
Wifey: But that's what you said after the exercise!
Killer: Huh?
Wifey: "[O.D.] makes me feel awkward sometimes."
Killer: Ah. Right. I did. Good catch.
Acting Professor: (to Wifey) Soon I'm going to have to share my salary.

"The lines were very funny to me when I was recording them... because they made me think of something a cartoon character would say and then die." - O.D., about an etude where the lines were about going outside to play

"A real actor makes a difference on screen or on the stage." - Acting Professor, on actors who do things like adopt children or go to foreign countries to fulfill their civil service instead of putting it into their performances

"We all wear masks. But this is the stage. It's safe. A mask will create itself." - Acting Professor

"Be an actor who is doing their own stuff. Let the directors deal with the 'performers.'" - Acting Professor

"What do you have if you don't know how to surrender?" - Acting Professor

"'I've wound myself up and I think that I am angry.' I'm not angry. I'm a case. I'm a psychiatric case." - Acting Professor

"Everybody's scary on a pumpkin. Come on, that's a known fact." - Voice Professor, when classmates were looking at a freaky picture of a Sarah Palin jackolantern

"Theatre was not a serious academic pursuit back then. It was for gypsies, tramps, and thieves. Well, we know that it still is." - Artistic Director

(NOTE: The Artistic Director has a strong Australian accent, and our Acting Professor has a strong Russian one.)
Artistic Director: You can tell from my accent that I'm from the Bronx. The southern part. Near Melbourne.
Acting Professor: I'm from the northern part.

"That's what good acting is to me: creating the effect that you've been typecast." - Artistic Director

"You may want to write this s*** down. I'm using s*** in the technical sense." - Artistic Director

"Just know that you're constantly being examined. Please don't stress about that." - Artistic Director

"No matter how successful you are in this business, you will always be tempted to trade self-worth for security. And you know what? Sometimes you have to give up the old self-worth." - Artistic Director

Artistic Director: Is that all you want? Security, love, self-worth, respect, and freedom?
Me: Well, if I had those...

(referring to A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams)
Artistic Director: What does Blanche need?
O.D.: Therapy?

"I don't give a hoot what he's wearing! But when he explodes, I'm with him." - Acting Professor, on how good acting will make an audience forget to notice technical aspects of a production

"Let's imagine that you have all been cast as Sónya, in separate, very strange productions of Uncle Vanya" - Analysis Professor

"Does anyone need potting soil? If we take a break, you could bring it outside and try to smoke it." - Tech Professor

"'I caught the bluebird. I've got to hold onto it.' We all do that on stage. But when you hold the bluebird, it has no choice but to die." - Acting Professor

"Acting is not understanding. Acting is compassion." - Acting Professor